It's a scary place.
I've been trying to "control" my mind this 2012. Thinking & doing positively... It's a bit harder than expected. Old habits die hard and I don't think the pregnancy hormones should be an excuse, rather a factor in my mindset. It's hard to not be sensitive and take things personally, so I need a reality check every once in awhile from myself of friends. Plus I'm also trying to stay positive so my little baby who depends on nothing but me lives in a peaceful environment. I was listening to talk radio Tuesday night and heard this quote... and I took it to heart.
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
I KNOW this to be true. Recently I ran into someone who is a prime example of this quote. An extremely bitter and lonely person who had nothing to say but negative, derogatory things about others who were living a seemingly happy, progressive lives.
Between seeing that person and hearing that quote I knew that I had to get my shit together.
I keep telling myself "stop, see, let it be, let it go" "it's not about you, focus on yourself." "shake it off." etc. probably little quotes I'll be saying to the baby when he's a bit older. heh.
I did hear on Dr. Laura one day a lady who was struggling with negative thoughts and Dr. Laura's advice was to start singing a song, either aloud or in her head.
I think my post about James and I really covers this. Recently a girlfriend of mine said, "No matter what, make time for you and James. Even if it's just once a month, make the time or it'll all get away from you." I truly believe this to be true too.
Well obviously it's getting more and more rotund in the mid-section as our little boy is honing in on four lbs.
I've not gotten to go to the gym this month, which makes me sad. However I have been walking up and down our driveway... to the highway and back is .8mi. Plus I add in a trip to the Given's house to give me a about a mile. Of course I still do housework, and recently shampooed the carpets in my moms house.
My pregnant body is interesting, I'm starting to feel a lot more pressure and sensitivity. Right above my belly button is very sensitive, plus I touch it a lot like a child "this hurts! why does it hurt?" kind of thing. Definitely a lot of pressure on my poor, already overworked bladder. In our U/S last week Truman was right there with my bladder which I believe explains the "oh WOW I gotta go pee" moments.
I do believe I've prayed more this year than I ever have in my life. I feel more confident with my relationship in Christ however there is MUCH room for improvement on my end.
I do want to tell you all this-
It melts my heart to hear children pray, our friends little boy prayed for our dinner last night and it just melted my heart. He was so happy and eager to pray, it was amazing.
The other day a mother was praying with her infant before they ate here at work, even though that baby most likely had no idea what mom was saying, it was still deeply touching and it meant something to them (and me).
Also James, Truman and I have three little prayer warriors out there (Colby, Quentin and Carlie) their momma's tell me that they pray for us/Truman, It means so much to me.
I feel like I'm learning a lot, a lot from myself and from other people. I do appreciate the advice and encouragement from my friends and family! Pretty soon I know that nothing else will matter but Truman, James and I. I'm looking forward to that!