Friday, February 1, 2013

Faux-ku-Haiku

I wrote these back when T was fresh. Lots of sleep deprivation and good times-

The first few are when I was under the impression that a haiku was 5-7-5 words, not syllables.
I present to you:
Postpartum Faux-ku's

To my foopa
There you are hanging out.
Now it's time for you to go.
Yet, frappuccino diet not working.

To my house
So dirty, what to do?
Dusty, grimey, greasy, all things so gross.
Scared all the cleaners away.

To my stretch marks
What is this I see?
On my belly so long and deep.
Icing on the foopa cake.

To my bra
All powerful beige nursing bra
Making it possible for hourly plus nursing.
Thanks for easy boob clips

*realizing haikus are 5-7-5 syllable*

To my armpits
What's that smell. Shoo-wee.
That stank is mommas hygiene.
Desperately needs bath.

To Truman's drooling
Dribble, dribble eww
Hands all covered in goo.
Teething is insane.

To my stomach muscles
Paralyzed uh huh
Can't suck it in, what to do.
Thank God for spanx, whoo.










3 comments:

  1. Oh such profound truths! Foopa, sad lol'ing. :-)

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  2. You are literally cracking me up! Love this! That reminds me... I need to shower! The joys of having Tiny's!

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  3. hahah the armpits section was my fav

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- April